A Teacher's Guide To Understanding Your Child's End Of Year Report

From ListOf

• Satisfactory progress:

I can't think of a single interesting thing to say about him.

• Good progress:

If you think his work's bad now, you should have seen it last term.

• Expresses himself confidently:

Cheeky little oik.

• Lively:

Thoroughly disruptive.

• A sensitive child:

Whiny.

• Reliable:

Creep.

• Imaginative:

Never short of an excuse.

• Easy-going:

Bone idle.

• Friendly:

Never shuts up.

• Is easily upset:

Spoilt rotten.

• Determined:

Lacking all scruples.

• Independently-minded:

Obstinate.

• Adventurous:

Can't understand why he hasn't broken his neck.

• Easily distracted:

Yet to finish a piece of work.

• Easily influenced:

Nerd.

• Mature expression:

Stop doing his homework.

• Enjoys all PE activities:

Thug.

• Good with his hands:

Light-fingered.

• Works better in small groups:

Damage-limitation exercise.

• Works better at practical activities:

Totally illiterate.

• A born leader:

Runs the playground protection racket.

• Needs praise and encouragement:

As thick as two short planks.

• A rather solitary child:

Smells or has nits.

• Popular at playtime:

Sells pornography.