Expressions For High Stress Days
From ListOf
- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
- Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine?
- Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
- Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
- A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
- Don't bother me
- Do I look like a fucking people person?
- This isn't an office
- I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
- I pretend to work
- I've found Jesus
- You! Off my planet !
- Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
- Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
- I like cats too
- If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
- The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.
- Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
- I wish for a world of peace, harmony, & nakedness.
- Errors have been made
- Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
- And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
- I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- See no evil, hear no evil and date no evil.
- Allow me to introduce my selves.
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
- Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
- Better living through denial.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?
- I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
- Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
- I'm not your type
- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
- Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
- Back off! You're standing in my aura.
- I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
- Don't worry
- One of us is thinking about sex..
- How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
- I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery
- I just want revenge
- It's sick the way you people keep having sex without me.
- I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
- You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
- Okay, okay, I take it back! UnFuck you!
- Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
- Nice perfume
- Not all men are annoying
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."
- Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
- Mommy, I wanna grow up to be a neurotic bitch just like you.
- A woman's favorite position is CEO.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- You look like shit
- This is a mean, fucking cruel world & I want my nappy & medication right now!
- Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.
- Earth is full
- Is it time for your medication or mine?
- Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
- Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
- I plead contemporary insanity.
- And which dwarf are you?
- I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- It ain't the size, it's..
- I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
- I majored in liberal arts
- Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!!
- When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
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