Funny Chuck Norris Facts

From ListOf

1. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
3. Chuck Norris can fry ants with a magnifying glass. At night.
4. Chuck Norris Counted to infinity... Twice
5. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
6. When Chuck Norris does push-ups he actually pushes the earth down.
7. Chuck Norris has two speeds - walk and kill.
8. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.
9. Chuck Norris rode a grizzly through a car wash, instead of taking a shower
10. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, but he's never cried.
11. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
12. Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
13. Smoking does not kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
14. Al Gore did not invent the Internet. Chuck Norris invented the Internet.
15. when chuck norris goes in water he doesn't get wet the water gets "chucked"
16. chuck noris had a cobra for a d*ck
17. Chuck Norris came before the chicken or the egg
18. Chuck Norris dated cheate on Hurricaine Isabel with Hurricaine Katrina
19. Chuck Norris is responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs.
20. Chuck Norris is what really sunk the Titanic.
21. chuck norris knew jesus
22. chuck norris never lies just re-invents the truth
23. chuck norris surfs tsunamis
24. Chuck Norris' theme song is "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor"
25. If Norris is combined with a cape their combined awsome would end time
26. supeman may wear chuck Pjs but chuck wears reggie pajamas
27. chuck norris eats bricks and sh{ts houses
28. Chuck Norris is almost as cool as Steve McQueen.
29. Chuck Norris is made entirely of the element "Roundhousekickium"
30. Chuck Norris is responsible for the death of Kenny. All of them.
31. when chuck norris farts other people take the blame
32. chuck norris filled in for superman when doomsday showed up
33. The air-speed velocity of an unladen African swallow is Chuck Norris.
34. Chuck Norris Hates Chuck Norris Lists
35. chuck norris is so cool he can choke you with a corfless phone.
36. Put "Chuck Norris" for every answer on your SAT's. You'll score double 800's.
37. Chuck Norris hates me for making this list.
38. Chuck Norris can go faster then the speed of light.
39. Chuck Norris can stop runaway explosions by pure moral strength
40. Chuck Norris's shoes are made from depleted uranium
41. Mr. T pities the foo who mess with Chuck Norris!
42. The only thing preventing the aliens from enslaving us is Chuck Norris
43. After The Ultimate Showdown, Chuck Norris came back to kill Mr. Rogers
44. Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
45. Chuck Norris is so hairy that he has to shave while he shaves.
46. Chuck Norris is the only force that can stop Ashley Tisdale's hideous voice.
47. Chuck Norris jokes are getting Extremely old
48. Where he is, there is the land of the Chuck und the home of the Norris.
49. chuck does nt rhyme with norris
50. Chuck Norris built a log cabin with only his foot
51. chuck norris makes onions Sh*t themselves
52. He is gay
53. Chuck Norris is a mammal: a warm blooded, hairy animal who doesn't lay eggs
54. His father was a grizzly bear.
55. The Goatee wears Chuck to look tough
56. any problem settled with a round house kick.
57. The stupid muscle actually has more brains than George W. Bush