Funny Signs That You Were Drunk Last Night

From ListOf

1. Last night was Friday. The newspaper says today is Monday
2. Just about everything in the house has a dent in it
3. You call the cab company to find out what bar you left your car at.
4. You wake up with a condom on your middle finger
5. You wake up naked in a dumpster
6. Your cellmate "Bubba" is relaxing with a cigarette and your butt hurts
7. You wake up next to the toilet
8. You wake up in bed with all 13 of your new wives.
9. You wake up naked on a bus, somewhere in Mexico
10. The tattoo reading "Big Al's Bitch"
11. You wake up married to Kevin Federlaine
12. You wake up with an immense headache in prison
13. Your don't remember mooning a state trooper
14. the sleeping, fat, onion-smelling woman beside you in bed
15. The vomit on the sheets is probally yours
16. where are my pants?
17. You did not know that women could be that ugly
18. you have a mars bar up your bum
19. you wake up in jail
20. Mysterious sharpee marker scrawlings on face.
21. Wake up next to your boss
22. Where's your car, dude
23. Can't find my wedding ring.
24. Your bed is a mess and your cat is staring at you
25. you girlfriend has broken jaw
26. Neither of the people woke up with looks familiar
27. You wake up in a COLD shower.
28. Your car is in the bushes with the engine running when you wake up
29. You wake up with a tatoo says I love Bush
30. What did I do last night?
31. You wake up 100ft. away from your smashed up car.
32. You can't remember anything after that 3rd tequila
33. You vaguely remember urinating in a house plant in someone else's house.