Funny Things That Only Happen In Movies

From ListOf

1. Cars are bullet proof yet they instantly explode when they crash
2. Aliens who contact Earth must contact the USA and only the USA
3. Incredible shrinking pills somehow shrink your clothes too
4. Women wake up with their hair done
5. Good guys die peacefully with friends whilst the battle conveniently pauses
6. After sex, you must still hide your modesty when getting out of bed
7. Everyone, nomatter what era or planet they are from, speak English
8. However fast you run, the zombie always catches you up the moment you trip
9. Females must investigate dangerous and scary places in underwear
10. Pets will warn you of impending doom - they must be resolutely ignored though
11. Sports teams always win by one point in the last second of play.
12. There are taxi cabs around when people need them
13. Tripping is obligatory when your life depends on you not tripping
14. cars always have the keys in them
15. Hugely traumatic and life altering catastrophies can be laughed off at the end
16. Sex is body-fluid free
17. Everything stops while the villain boasts about his evil plan
18. Generals always sit around big tables in dark rooms making very bad decisions
19. Good luck charms will stop bullets.
20. It is easier to carry 20 guns than 1 gun and 20 magazines
21. All good guys (even historical ones) know at least one oriental martial art
22. During sex there must be plenty of rolling on the bed
23. A parking spot is always available right in front of the building.
24. All time bombs have huge red readouts so you know exactly when they'll explode.
25. Creepy music plays just before something bad happens
26. Friends, when faced by a stealthy psychopath, feel it best to split up
27. People realize they really are in love while giving a business presentation.
28. Bad guy bullets are magnetically drawn to breakable intems in the room
29. You can drive for miles without actually looking where you are going
30. Good guys are never desperate for the toilet
31. If you have an English accent you will be sinister
32. If you kiss anyone or have a "sweetheart" at home, you WILL be the next to die.
33. leonardo dicaprio has sex with woman.
34. Music plays when en lovers kiss
35. Nuclear-Presence-Paradigm: If a reactor is involved - it will overheat.
36. Other people don't mind if you interupt something,like a play,if it's for love.
37. The key to success at the end is always revealed in a throwaway line in scene 1
38. The sun is fully up at 6 am no matter where you live.
39. Tires are always making noise when pursuit is startet ... even on gravel
40. When shot, you must fly 20 feet back and never just fall down
41. Whenever a computer malfunctions, the whole building explodes.
42. If there is a dangerous and scary place nearby it must be investigated
43. Wind, rain, snow and even taking a dip in seawater never mess your hair
44. Aliens are invariably covered in snot
45. Expert advice that has been gained at great expense must be ignored
46. hearts still beat after being torn from cheasts
47. Male barks a warning due to a life-threat - female has to ask stupid question.
48. The Hero wins all the time
49. All germans are either bad underlings in black uniforms or weird scientists
50. Black Guy never dies first... Oh wait.
51. Hero's charms never work on the char who has a key item - back to brute force
52. Warp 9.5 is never fast enough to escape danger or intercept when necessary
53. If there are policemen - there are doughnuts
54. The smuggler will get the princess, even if his best friend looks like a rag
55. There is always a late night diner open nearby
56. Anyone who offends a shaolin temple is gonna get it sooner or later
57. If you are shot on a roof you must leap off onto some bales of hay
58. It is always pathetic looking children that trip in front of trucks
59. Rank and file baddies die quickly amidst the noise of battle
60. Boss baddies die gruesomely and must appear shocked at their defeat
61. Girls fall asleep at the very moment you propose to them