Great to be a Guy

From ListOf

• Your last name stays put.

• The garage is all yours.

• Wedding plans take care of themselves.

• Chocolate is just another snack.

• You can be president.

• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

• Car mechanics tell you the truth.

• You don't give a rats hindquarters whether or not someone notices your new haircut.

• The world is your urinal.

• You never have to drive to another gas station because "this one is just too icky."

• Same work, more pay.

• Wrinkles add character.

• Wedding Dress, $5,000; Tux Rental, $100.

• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

• One mood, ALL the time.

• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

• You know stuff about tanks.

• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

• You can open all your own jars.

• You can leave the motel bed unmade.

• You can kill your own food.

• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

• If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

• You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

• You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

• If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

• You almost never have strap problems in public.

• You don't mind wrinkles in your clothes.

• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

• You don't have to shave below your neck.

• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

• You can do your nails with a pocket knife.

• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

• Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 30 minutes.

• You can pack for a trip in less than a half hour.

• Your hair is dry after taking a shower by the time you're dressed.

• Facial hair is a good thing.

• You can go to the bathroom without a support group

• None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

• You can write your name in the snow.

• You can take your shirt off on a hot day.

• You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

• Gray hair adds character.

• With 400 million sperm per go, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, in theory.

• If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

• You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

• Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

• Bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

• You don't care if the toilet seat is left up.

• One acronym that doesn't pertain - PMS.

• You don't have to wear makeup.

• You can think about girls all the time and it's alright.

• You can lean down to pick something up without having to worry about your shirt hanging open.

• You don't get pregnant.

• You don't take hours and hours to get ready.

• You don't secretly resent friends who are more attractive.

• You don't care if you look like crap when your picture is taken.

• Homer Simpson makes perfect sense.

• You don't have to worry about breaking a nail.

• Complaints about something being to heavy are kept to yourself.

• Your eyes can remain open when you step on the scale.

• You can take pride in breaking wind.

• A shower only takes a few minutes and the drain doesn't get clogged with hair.

• No stretch marks.

• Beauty and the Beast (average guys can get hot girls).

• You don't go around asking your buddies whether the pants you're wearing make your butt look big.

• You get praise for doing things around the house once in a while.

• A hair cut costs less than $20

• Three shirts and two pairs of pants are enough clothes for a month.