Headlines You Won't See on Windows Vista Launch Day

President Bush Sends More Troops to Cupertino to Quell Anti-Vista Riots
Ballmer Defends Decision to Include "Swastika Cursor Pack" in Vista
Dell Goes Bankrupt after Realizing None of Their Computers Can Run Vista
Switching from OS X to Vista for Dummies Tops New York Times Best Sellers List
Ubuntu Users Embrace Vista's DRM
Vista WGA Still Uncracked
Iraqi Insurgents Declare "Day of Peace" for Window Vista Upgrade Party in Baghdad
Most Popular Name for Boys in 2006? Vista
Bloggers Eerily Silent on Vista Launch Day
Federal Government Orders Flags to be Flown at Half Staff in Honor of Windows XP
Corporate IT Managers Declare New Windows Operating System "Vistastic!"