Not Too Bright

From ListOf

• Not the brightest light in the harbor.

• The light's on but no one's home.

• Not the brightest bulb in the box.

• A few screws short of a hardware store.

• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

• A few cards short of a deck.

• A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

• About as sharp as a marble.

• Only has one oar in the water.

• Smart as a bag of rocks.

• A burger short of a combo meal.

• The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

• A few peas short of a casserole.

• A few keys short of a keyboard.

• Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

• The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

• As smart as a stick.

• Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

• An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

• Has an IQ of room temperature.

• Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

• Not the brightest crayon in the box.

• One twist short of a slinky.

• Sharp as a sack of wet mice.

• More numb than a frozen mukluk.

• I ain't sharpest crayon in the box - Markie Sparkie Lover.

• I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed - Markie Sparkie Lover.

• They are depriving some village of its idiot.

• A few threads short of a sweater.

• A few sandwiches short of a picnic.

• Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

• The battery is not fully charged.

• About as sharp as a bowling ball.

• Dumber than a bag of hammers.

• A few bricks short of a full load.

• A few clowns short of a circus.

• A few beers short of a six-pack.

• Dumber than a box of hair.

• A few tacos short of a fiesta platter.

• All foam no beer.

• As smart as bait.

• Chimney's clogged.

• Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

• Forgot to pay his brain bill.

• The antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

• His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

• Another brain would be lonely.

• Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

• No grain in the silo.

• Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

• Receiver is off the hook.

• Has a leak in the skylight.

• Too much yardage between the goal posts.

• Dumb as a donkey.

• Not all the soldiers are marching in line.

• Dumber than paint.

• Half a bubble off plumb.

• A few fruit loops shy of a full bowl.

• Donated his brain to science before he was done with it.

• A few shades beyond blonde.

• Has to take turns for the family brain-cell.

• A few watts short of a light bulb.

• Dump as a stump.

• Running on 3 cylinders.

• A few Bradys short of a bunch.

• Has the parachute but is missing the ripcord.

• Would lose a debate with a doorknob.

• Has an IQ lower than plant life.

• All telephone, no receiver.

• One ski short of a snowmobile.

• Wouldn't know if they were on foot or horseback.

• The logs are ablaze but the chimney is clogged.

• Eats soup with a fork.

• The wheel is spinning but the hamster fell off (or is dead).

• The cheese slid off the cracker.

• The engine is running but nobody is behind the wheel.

• A few fuses short of a full circuit.

• A tire short of an eighteen wheeler.

• Doesn't have all the chairs at the table.

• Dumber than a bag of rocks.

• A shining example of why you should avoid inbreeding.

• A few pecans short of a fruitcake.

• As fruity as a bag of Skittles™

• Would argue with a signpost.

• If you gave them a penny for thoughts, you'd get change.

• Dumb as a salt shaker.

• Has a mind like a steel trap: rusty and illegal in 37 states.

• Knitting with only one needle.

• The result of too much chlorine in the gene pool.

• Not the brightest bulb in the Chandalier.

• Not the quickest bunny in the forest.

• The hard drive is spinning but the OS hasn't been installed.

• Not exactly running on all thrusters.

• A few toppings short of a Deluxe Pizza.

• A few burgers short of a barbecue.

• A few roos loose in the top paddock.

• The wind is blowing but nothing is moving.

• The umbrella is up but there's no rain.

• A few colors short of a rainbow.

• As bright as a lamp in Aladdin's cave.

• The boat doesn't have all the oars in the water.

• A few boats short of a fleet.

• A monosynaptic cretin (Don't understand it? 'nuff said)

• A few noodles short of a chow mein.

• A few bristles short of a broom.

• A few snags short of a barbie.

• Doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.

• Hasn't seen the ball since kickoff.

• The relative IQ of a deck chair.

• A poster child for birth control.

• A few players short of a team.

• Couldn't hit the floor if he fell on it.

• A few sheep short of a flock.

• If you stand close enough to them you can hear the sea.

• They have an IQ lower than their shoe size.

• A few gunmen short of a posse.

• As sharp as a pound of wet liver.

• Not the quickest horse in the stable.

• Has a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy that holds them all together.

• Most people drink from the fountain of knowledge, they only gargled.

• Not the fastest ship in the fleet.

• Ten cents short of a dollar.

• A few boxes short of a pallet.

• A few grams short of a pound.

• Shipped but not delivered.

• A few springs short of a watch.

• A few bits short of a byte.

• Only has half a cord in the woodshed.

• The elevator goes to the top but the doors don't open.

• A cup and a saucer short of a place setting.

• If their nose was on upside down they'd drown in the rain.

• Three ice bricks shy of an igloo.

• A few marshmallows short of a bowl of Lucky Charms.